The Life of a “Single” TIU Mama
So I say “single” because all of you know I’m married, but my better half is a traveling salesman, so it’s just Tanner & I most of the time. It’s one of those odd dynamics that thankfully works for us, because Kyle likes to constantly be on the go surrounded by chaos, people always around, and stimulation, where I thrive on alone time, quiet time, and although I’m a total wanderlust, I still need some form of structure to feel inner peace. I know, I know…quiet & alone time as a mom to a 14-month old? Ya, it’s pretty scarce. But when bedtime rolls around at 6:30pm, it’s my time to breathe, relax, unwind. That means cleaning the house, picking up toys, making dinner, doing laundry, or working on something TIU related, but somehow, that all grounds me…
I’m on the “clock” from 6am to 9pm.
I don’t have a nanny or a babysitter. I don’t have a husband who comes home at 5pm each night and relieves me from mom duty, or who cooks me dinner. I don’t have family that live locally. I don’t have a baby that “sleeps through the night.” Yes, “I’m stillllllll breastfeeding”. [seriously, I’m so over this question; if you must know I’m down to two times a day; morning and bedtime…not that it affects anyone’s life who judges me; I’m doing the best.I.can…have you ever tried prepping bottles when it’s just you 90% of the time? Then cleaning them, sanitizing them, etc., etc.? It stinks]. I don’t have two perfectly trained doggies or someone who picks up their poop every day; they’re actually nuts and I think Harley needs Prozac. I don’t have a gym membership, or belong to a fancy club of any kind. I no longer have a current “career” after officially working my last wedding; yet I don’t get a day off; I’m on the “clock” from 6am to 9pm.
I try to find a calm moment amongst the madness and relish it
With all the things I don’t have, I still have SO much more. I have a hard-working husband who’s crazy, constant travel allows me to stay home with Tanner. I have my TIU sisters who get me through each day more than they’ll ever know, and K&K who post free videos that allow busy mamas to still get in a great workout. I have a best friend who just moved to town who supports me, helps me with Tanner, watches our dogs when we are out of town, and who encourages me to be me. I have an amazing mom group who gives me an outlet of people to socialize with when I otherwise may not see another human being to have a conversation with for weeks. I have a baby who loves me unconditionally, and absolutely lights up my life. He snuggles me at night and makes my heart SO FULL. I have a milk supply that is still going strong, after Tanner’s first three months life with virtually no-supply due to an undiagnosed tongue tie. I have two crazy labs who are always happy to see me, and add spunk to each day. They may not walk like angels on leashes, but they sure make me laugh. I opened my wedding planning company from the complete ground up; met with strangers to network, and they became some of my closest friends. I may not get weekends or holidays “off”, or be off before 9am and after 5pm, but I survive. I have the cutest house ever who’s deck overlooks the ocean with 180 degree views. I have a neighborhood full of smiling, sweet neighbors, who wave and say hi when we walk by. I can run to the ocean and back, or walk to a shopping center. I can go to the beach any day, any time. My sister is my best friend and my parents are two of the most loving people I know. I’m so thankful to live in such a beautiful town, where they are only a 2 hour plane ride away now. I could go on and on, but the important thing is deep down I know that life is SO good, and although some hours and days feel like the longest ever, the months and years are FLYING. So each day, I try to find a calm moment amongst the madness and relish it; soak in the good, bad, ugly, and remember that each thing, each moment, each experience has beauty. (almost always, anyway!)
So how do I balance it all? I honestly have NO CLUE. Some days I want to stay in bed and hide, but my 8-toothed sweet little monster & four-legged loving little psychos would never allow that. and when Tanner smiles at me with those silly little teeth, or my dogs wake me up by attacking me with kisses, my heart melts, I roll out of bed, and my clock begins…and another crazy, beautiful day has begun.
Shelley!!! I’m loving all these little peeks into your life on the blog and Insta. I’m already amazed at ALL that you do and am even more so now knowing that you do so as a “single” mom. It’s the craziest job we willingly sign up for where we’re on the clock 24/7 with no time off but one little smile or those wide eyed looks of innocence is all you need to keep going. You inspire me so much on a daily basis and your posts never fail to put a smile on my face. Please just keep being you and doing what you’re doing because it makes such a positive impact on so many people’s lives.
Loved this post today Shelley because I can totally relate. My husband works up North on the rigs for 2 weeks & home for one. So I feel like a single mama most of the time too!
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So feel for you, mama! It’s so hard. We don’t get a break!! It’s crazy though how strong we become, and how much our little routines save us, right?! Kyle left yesterday for the start of a three week work trip! I’m thankful my sister is visiting this time, but usually it’s just me 😦 You are so strong, mama!! XOXOXOXO