Let’s talk mom-shaming and all the totally effed up things we say to eachother, ourselves, or overhear…
• • •
Photo by Ashley Gardner Photography
• • •
Must be nice to be a stay-at-home-mom; try having a ‘real’ job
Oh, you work full time? When do you spend time with you kid(s)?
Having a c-section is a cop-out of going through ‘real’ labor and childbirth.
Having a home birth is irresponsible and putting you and your baby in danger.
Breastfeeding is the only way to bond with your baby and give them the true nutrients they need; formula is poisoning your baby.
Breastfeeding is gross and takes away bonding time for dad and other family members.
Co-sleeping causes SIDS, is creepy, and teaching your child to be needy and less independent.
Co-sleeping is convenient for night-time nursing, means comforting a toddler scared of monsters or a bad dream, or helping give a sense of security through change.
Feeding your baby solids at 6 months is ruining your breastfeeding bond.
Feeding your baby solids at 6 months starts introducing foods they need to new vitamins and minerals and reduces food allergies.
Vaccinating is the only way to keep your baby safe from dangerous viruses and diseases.
Vaccinating is poisoning your child(ren) and causing developmental disorders.
Divorce screws up your child(ren) from having a ‘normal’ life and a ‘real’ family.
Divorce gives your child(ren) the chance to see a healthy, happy relationship and definition of marriage and gives you the chance to be free.
Being a single mom means you’re trashy and it’s your fault you’re divorced.
Being a single mom makes you strong AF; no one has a right to judge or gossip about why your marriage ended. It’s not your fault.
Pushing your religion and politics on your child(ren) is teaching them values and morals.
Teaching your child(ren) to be open-minded and make their own informed decisions on religion and politics gives them the freedom of choice and teaches them the power of research.
Having an abortion makes you a horrible human being.
Having an abortion makes you an incredible, strong woman who made the tough choice to make the right decision for your life and your future.
Putting a child up for adoption is an irresponsible disgrace.
Putting a child up for adoption means you are amazing for wanting your child to have a better life than you could provide.
Not having a uterus makes you less of a woman.
Not having a uterus does not define your womanhood.
Deciding not to have children makes you selfish.
You have no idea why some people cannot have children, and it’s not your place to judge if it’s due to medical complications or personal choice.
Raising kind humans means raising sensitive push-overs.
Raising kind humans means raising compassionate, empathetic, well-rounded children.
Living with family means you’re too lazy or not strong enough to do it on your own.
Living with family means you’re showering your child(ren) with more love, and yourself with more support.
Not losing your baby-weight means you don’t care about your appearance.
Having ten pounds of postpartum ‘fluff’ means you’re LIVING and care more about life than an Instagram photo.
Having a messy house means you are messy, unorganized, and lacking cleanliness.
Having a messy house means you care about making memories and spending time playing and being creative with your kid(s).
Having kids with a partner and not a husband or a wife means you don’t value marriage.
Having child(ren) and a relationship with someone who is not legally your spouse does not make you less of a family or a human.
Playing on your phone in front of your child(ren) is irresponsible and you’re ignoring them.
It’s amazing we live in a world where we can engage with our children and have part-time jobs while staying at home with them thanks to technology.
Going on anti-depressants or benzos for PPD, PPA or other mental health issues makes you weak and means you didn’t try hard enough to fix your issues ‘naturally.’
Admitting something doesn’t feel right and you need help for a disorder makes you a strong, responsible mom who deserves to feel like the best version of herself again.
Seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist means you’re ‘crazy.’
Going to counseling or seeing someone who went to med school to know how meds affect the brain makes you brave, courageous, and shows you are powerful, strong, and seeking change and growth.
Raising little boys who don’t play sports means you’re raising ‘pu%^ies’.
Raising little boys to be musicians or dancers or singers means you’re supporting their dreams and their talents.
You should teach little girls to play with dolls, like the color pink, cook, and be nurturing; don’t let them be too opinionated.
You should teach little girls to have a voice, let them be tomboys if they want, and teach them they truly can be and do anything.
YOU SHOULD JUST MOM THE BEST YOU KNOW HOW AND LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS – in whatever forms that means to YOU.
STOP THE #MOMSHAMING.
These are ALL things I’ve personally been told or overheard.
WE ARE ALL DOING THE BEST WE CAN TO RAISE BABIES THE BEST WE KNOW HOW AND IN THE WAY WE FEEL IS BEST FOR OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILY.
Society, please just let us be.
Please just let us mom.
Please stop judging us, all of us, and all the ways we’re just trying to parent the very best we can.